does it not seem judgement to, when someone says something “was taxing”, to instead interpret that as “damaging”? like, that is a much more severe interpretation (with the possible additional implication that it’s permanent in a way)
especially in a sexual context and especially referring to women, implying someone was “damaged” by something carries a lot of implications
as a transgender person (man, specifically), i always wonder about the ostensibly cisgender people who make their enjoyment of opposite/same sex media their identity (so, basically, fujoshi and himedanshi)
no one is saying you can’t enjoy a good love story / dirty story / whatever between two people of the opposite and same sex, but the weird part to me is where it becomes a part of your identity
like, before i knew i was trans, for a period of time when i was younger, i found myself really into a gay ship in a popular media. and i enjoyed it for a bit and then i was like, i don’t really know why it was so compelling, but i thought it would be kind of weird to like, get really into it (as a woman, or so i thought at the time). so i dropped it and moved on with my life and found plenty of het pairings that i could see myself in, and it was fine
then i transitioned a decade later and i look back on it and go “oh”, and now i understand why that gay ship was so compelling
so i mean, that’s my lived experience. and you don’t need to justify or explain your lived experience to anyone, least of all me, some random internet fucko
but i am curious what you find so compelling about the dynamics between two women that your consumption of yuri media merits identifying yourself as such (by this i mean, you like it so much you call yourself, literally, himedanshi)
as a gay man, i certainly read plenty of boy’s love stories, and it has not escaped my attention that many of the authors are women. but i also read a decent chunk of girl’s love comics and even a handful of more normative straight romance comics, the handful that establish a deeper connection between their lead couple than “he’s a man and she’s a woman and they fuck, duh”
but even for the boy’s love stuff, i feel like it’s not a huge part of my identity (i mean, maybe because there’s not a special word for “guy into gay media”, but even then, i don’t think i’d use it more than casually)
anyways, those are my thoughts. but in reality, fuck what i or anyone else thinks, you do you, make you happy, life is too short not to
i’m amused by how judgemental this post comes off as in a nsfw sub. i think, much like you shouldn’t claim that something wasn’t damaging for someone else, you probably shouldn’t claim that it was, if they themselves didn’t state it as such. if i were more allosexual, i’d probably be into that, who doesn’t love a lot of fucking lots of people? (obviously some people don’t, but some people do!)
but i understand that you wanted to talk about this thought experiment and that was additional context for where the idea came from
ironically, i think i’d prefer a one night stand, or like, a date / one night stand (share a meal, do an activity and then fuck). i don’t want to get to know someone, bond with them for a YEAR… so they could fuck me once and dip. what the hell LOL that’s so much effort just to know you won’t have any kind of relationship at the end
but like, a time limited thing, let’s hang out for. a day and fuck at the end, then go back to our respective lives? that sounds pretty alright
ok so, is sex such a big part of your identity that it warrants taking the name of the thing you think is the hottest? and like, if that’s the case, do you feel no grief about the idea that you can’t directly participate in what you view as the hottest thing in the world?