Maybe I did

I put it in all my cars! I use it to write all my emails! I sprinkle it on my cereal and eat it for breakfast!

I didn’t expect you to say that. Behold my giddiness

a particularly high risk of suicide

As is expected from the traditional gender role.

If you’re someone who frequently looks at your gender and then complains “my gender typically suffers from x malady” and it’s not something that’s being forced upon you by external factors (such needing your partner to confirm your personal medical decisions with your doctor concerning future procreation or needing your partner’s permission to file for divorce), then maybe you should consider not being a typical example of your gender.

I have suicidal ideations and intrusive thoughts because a little voice likes to pop in every so often and tell me that killing myself would be super cool. So I take medicine to quiet the voice and tattle on it to my friends and family whenever it speaks up so they can help me assess if the advice is helpful or not. Is it “manly” to tell people close to me “I’m having suicidal thoughts and I don’t know why”? Nope. But I’d rather be a weirdo than hurt my family.

Tradmen and tradwives are terrible examples of how to be a human human.

May his ass holes ever increase in number

That’s the disturbing part!

Chris Pontius 2028

Fucking A, good for her! This whole ordeal has been the strangest double-scapegoating I’ve ever culturally been a part of.

If they think that’s impressive, they should hear about the time I saved my nephew from the sabre-tooth cat that lived under his bed with nothing but a laser forcefield and a big hug and kiss.

That sounds like woke. Stop doing a woke or else I’m gonna first-amendment your rights away with my Brandon diaper.

🌩️⚡️😱😱🫱🔭🔭🔭💇🏻‍♂️

Make sure you leave it open for me so that she doesn’t have to swear again

She definitely did, but you wouldn’t know him. He went to a different kennel. In Canada…

yoU cAN’t PROvE ThaT—we LosT mosT Of the iMmIgRAnt ChildrEn WE DEtained! tHey CoUlD havE EndED uP In PRiSon

/s

Turn in your badge, your gun, and your citizenship, Officer Votesalot! When I tell the commissioner about this, they’re gonna eat your ass. So help you God, they’re all gonna eat your ass

He sees nastiness in every reflective surface

Maybe if pregnant women were in the constitution, your argument would make sense, but they’re not!

See, you’ve got your:

- First Amendment: The right to tell you to shut the fuck up

- Second Amendment: The right to shoot you the fuck up

- Third Amendment: Combination of the first and second—shut the fuck up or get shot the fuck up

This has been another episode of “People must actually believe this shit.” Thank you for your time and remember what totally real, lifetime-appointed supreme court judge Brett Cavendishbananana patriotically once said:

“😭I like beer”

- Brett Cadaverknob

If only they didn’t keep shipping all that political power to blue states just to compete for who can be the biggest turdmonger in the south

And become a pirate!

Great explanation. You really crushed it