try making friends with some migrants and some queer people (there are lots of both on Lemmy) - I’d bet everything that your dehumanising views will change, and you won’t have to worry about “self censorship” to participate here

Be kind to yourself for what you do manage, look for any ways you can make things easier for yourself. Can you keep your toothbrush, and a bottle of water and something to spit into, near where you sleep, if you don’t usually get to the bathroom before sleeping? Or if you do make it there, could you get out your toothbrush and toothpaste in advance, when you’ve got more energy, so there’s not so many steps when you’re in there when you’re tired? Do you have mouthwash, as a quick fix if you’re too shattered for brushing and flossing?

On flossing, I couldn’t motivate to floss my whole life, same as you, waste of time - I wasn’t getting cavities, and when I flossed my gums would bleed and when I didn’t they didn’t, so it felt totally counterintuitive.

Since I got a filling a couple of years ago I’ve been trying to find something that works, before I need more.

I’d seen the disposable single use picks with a piece of floss, but I couldn’t feel goodabout that much plastic waste, and it was still too hard to reach back teeth when I tried a couple.

Then I got a kit like this, it was the equivalent of about $4:

Between the two different sizes, the whole process is closer to 2 minutes vs closer to 10 with floss (I’m sure both would be quicker with practice), I’ve seen blood a lot less, there’s a satisfying amount of gunk that comes out even after brushing well, and I tell myself (hopefully accurately) that any time I manage to use them, even if it’s only once a week, is a favour to myself vs before, when literally the only times those places got regularly cleaned was at the dentist.

I appreciate you explaining, it doesn’t sound idiotic, I think we have different ideas about what makes a positive community, and I’m not sure I fully understand what you’re saying.

Would you be OK with seeing these things, which I don’t think would be “calling for direct physical harm” to anyone, on a Lemmy instance?

• Posting someone’s legal name, home address, government ID number
• Calling for a person to be hacked, harassed online or in person, or for someone to steal their bike/car/pet, or kill their pet
• Child porn, revenge porn (nonconsensually posting private nude pictures), edited / deepfake porn
• Copyrighted movies, music and TV
• Classified government documents

If you’re OK with these kinds of posts, then I can see what you mean about only having one rule; I feel like a site like that would be under constant legal threats, and I think it would be pretty toxic, but I’d be interested to hear how it goes.

If you wouldn’t be OK with them, is that because of legal stuff, or you morally disagreeing with it?

If a site follows the law, then you’ve got to ban holocaust denial (Germany), “hate speech” (UK and France), blasphemy against god or the monarch (Saudi Arabia, Thailand), leaking government secrets (US, UK), piracy (basically everywhere), harassment (a bunch of places), revenge porn (US, UK), child porn (basically everywhere)… the list goes on.

And if you have a moral problem with any of the above… what would you add to your free speech policy to make those exceptions?

I think the Lemmy authors run both lemmy.ml and lemmygrad.ml, so What is lemmy.ml might be helpful to you.

Also the default Code of Conduct in the Lemmy documentation.

I can’t speak for the creators, but it seems it’s more important to them to have an inclusive community than to protect “free speech”. Looking at the “free speech” Lemmy and Mastodon / Pleroma instances out there, I think they made the right call…