Well I play violin in a Celtic bar band that mostly does covers, but back around the time of the pandemic when I was feeling super bored, I worked on a song I’m kind of proud of? It’s called Anticipation.

I just casually mentioned to our lead singer that I had some licks that almost seem to be coming together like a song? He was similarly goofing around in his basement and said show me what you got? Next thing you know, I was trying to write parts for accordion and other instruments we had at the time using GarageBand on my iPad while he came up with some lyrics. I was a total amateur at this kind of thing and couldn’t believe it actually happened! But we eventually got it recorded with each band member coming in at different times for social distancing. We still play it once in a while at gigs when one of the regulars requests it.

My wife and I get excited every time we come across articles about exoskeleton tech. Can we expedite this a little? I want a mech suit—not a fucking wheelchair—when I reach that age.

Also, a note to the designers: make sure you can use the toilet with it. Extrapolating current trends, I suspect this will become one of my primary activities.

Ah but you’re not really a proper old guy until you get a bidet and start bitching about how medieval everyplace you go is that doesn’t have one.

It’s interesting to me that I don’t see myself aging in the bathroom mirror…until I put on my glasses. Then it’s obvious. Also, I didn’t used to need glasses. But nature’s gaussian blur filter is awesome. My wife looks as good as the day I met her too!

Yeah pretty much! They were in full dress with the red coats and boots and the wide brimmed hats and all that. No horses though. There was also a fair bit more security that day than usual with swat team-looking guys around the exits and stuff.

I remember attending a trade convention in Toronto where they were showcasing this block of pure gold around the size of a loaf of bread. It was surrounded by Mounties but they welcomed me to come forward and even asked if I wanted to try and lift it. My God that thing was heavy!!

Then as I was about to leave, they said “Hold on sir, show us your hands.” I did and they said I was good to go. I asked what that was about and they said some people try to scrape a bit off under their fingernails as a souvenir since gold is one of the softer metals.

We brought back a hamster for our daughter without realizing she was pregnant. After having a giant litter, we gave them all away…or at least we thought we did? A day or two later, I saw a wiggling in the shavings and out pops a head. Our eyes locked momentarily before she dived back down.

Definitely the runt of the litter. Had all sorts of paranoia and cowered under things for most of her life. She was maybe a year old when my daughter came running up. “Guys, you gotta see Hester!” We rushed over and there she was, hanging from the bars at the top of the cage and swinging arm-to-arm across.

We were so happy for her, finally getting past her inhibitions and leading her best hamster life. Then she was curled up dead the next morning.

I think this happens irl a lot when you have 1st, 2nd, and 3rd gen immigrants trying to communicate with each other and this kind of hybrid speak comes out of that? I’m 2nd gen so it sort of comes naturally to me.

I know some people from northern Ontario who speak a kind of English/French hybrid and it’s more than just in the family though. They speak it fluently with each other, so it seems to have taken on a life of its own? I tried to google for an example, and the first hit I got was this tiktoker and he’s exactly what I’m talking about. People really do speak like this!

Ok yeah, here’s a translation:

That’s fabulous! My mother only spoke Japanese with me, but since she passed away, I feel I have forgotten a lot of vocabulary. Once in a while, I get chances to speak but there aren’t a lot of Japanese around here so I’m pretty rusty at this point.

gggggggggggggggggggggggggggb

I think she’s trying to say date a whole bunch of girls and one boy?

I’m having more trouble with that last part.

cxz c

cee-ex-zee cee

Sexy, see?

That’s subarashii! My haha only spoke nihongo with me, but since she nakunatta, I feel I have wasureta a lot of vocabulary. Tokidoki shaberu chances ga aru desu keredomo amari nihonjin are around here so I’m pretty heta at this point. (シ_ _)シ

One time I was in Mexico with my wife while our daughter was still a baby and the lady at the front desk of the hotel where we were staying offered us a crib we could borrow. It was a kind gesture, but I was a little concerned because the crib seemed wobbly. I realized there were some screws loose but though I had a multitool on me, the holes were stripped.

So later, I was talking with a local and he’s like “I can fix that.” He comes over and pulls a pack of toothpicks out of his pocket. He sticks one into each hole and breaks it off so that it’s not sticking out anymore. Then he drives the screw back in. I shook the crib after that and it was rock solid!

Now I always keep some toothpicks handy. Fast-forward to just this year. My daughter is now an adult living in a condo, and was complaining the screw popped out of a kitchen cabinet door when her roommate yanked on it too hard. “I can fix that.”