It’s that time of year again when my partner gets upset with me because I’m not the kind of person that ever wants anything…
My partner always wants this or that. They mention things they want all the time. So I write down what I hear. Gift holidays are covered easily because I try to pay attention.
I feel bad though. I know it’s hard when I don’t talk about things I want. And when asked, I don’t know what to say. It only ends up causing me anxiety.
This is so dumb. What does a person who doesn’t want things want for their birthday?
If your partner is a craftsy type, you could suggest that they craft something for you. It was always those gifts that meant the most to me when I was with someone craftsy. It doesn’t have to have utility, or be perfect, it just means the world that someone spent time and thought creating something for you.
Now this is a great idea and why i asked this question in the first place! Not sure why I wasn’t thinking of it.
They once made me an incredible crocheted dice bag. It’s a crocheted bottle and cork with a baby red dragon wrapped around it protecting it. It took time and effort, looks super cool, was cheap to make, and I love it! This is the kind of thing that would make them feel great in giving and I love it too!
Win-win!
Glad I could help!
Tell them the they are the only gift you need and how lucky you are to have them in your life. Anything material just pails in comparison.
Ha! To which they will then melt in my arms and kiss me and tell me just how wonderful I am… only to then punch me in the arm and say… “now tell me what I can get you, dammit, or I will hurt you more!” 😁
I also don’t like receiving gifts from my spouse. So I just tell her to buy my bar tab for the night.
Ha! I so very rarely go for drinks, mainly because I don’t wanna pay for it. Lol. If only I married someone who was independently wealthy. Oh well, no take backsies. 😁
Lol my wife isn’t rich either. She works as an insulator, so me makes decent enough money that she can buy me 60 bucks worth of beer once a year tho.
If I didn’t have to actually absorb all the calories from that amount of beer, this would be an amazing gift. 🤣
Seriously, I watch sitcoms where people are drinking beer after beer at home or going to bars all the time. My body simply can’t keep up with that amount of input. 🙃
Well I jog a lot and work construction so it evens out haha
I always ask for the same thing.
A rare steak and messy anal.
Best I can do is a meatball and an over-the-pants tugjob.
My partner gifted me a pottery class recently, which we are doing next weekend and im VERY excited about. Maybe do that?
I always go with experiences over stuff. I want to do something with the people I care about and collect memories instead of things. It gives people the freedom to be as frugal or lavish as they want and I don’t have to store or return anything.
Now this is what I’m talking about. 💯
I have the same problem when I need to come up with things on the spot. So instead I keep a list that I add ideas I get for things I want over time. That way if someone asks I can show them that and I don’t have to think on the spot about what I want.
This is literally what I do for other people. Not sure why I’ve never thought of this for myself. I mean, I have to want things now and again, right? I usually don’t get those things because I ultimately don’t really care and there are more important things I need to spend money on. Budget only seems to get more tight over time.
Anyway, it will be tough to remember to do this, but I just have to remember I’m doing it for them and not me. I will be more likely to actually notate things then. This can work moving forward. Thanks!
Yeah I definitely still have problems with remembering to do it, especially if I get an idea when I’m not at a place where it’s easy to note the idea down. But even having a few things on there can be enough and sometimes help with jogging my memory about other things I wanted when it comes closer to an event.
Well, this morning I was able to get a few things down and then a few more things after that. I told my partner that I have a list for me and they got super excited.
I honestly don’t care if I ever get around to getting most of these things, but for the sake of other people doing something like this is a big deal and I love seeing their excitement.
Plus, my youngest kid said they can’t wait to get me another stuffed animal. I’m seriously hoping they can be steered towards something else that I don’t have to put on my bed to make the poor kid happy. Lol.
Food? Everybody likes food, right?
Or an experience - a trip, a night out, whatever
Consumables are great. It opens up for repeatability and the receiver is never stuck with dust collectors.
You want a fun day trip that you don’t have to plan?
Easy: “I WANNA SIX PACK O BEER AND AN EMPTY HOUSE, PRONTO”
Ha! You’re on to something with that! 😁
Beans
Jamon Iberico
Life size model of Captain Picard
Escape Room
8000 Hamsters
Ketamine
Dinner at a fancy restaurant
Art
Bathtub of chocolate pudding
My eyebrows actually went up and hand went to my chin when I read life-size replica of Captain Picard. Lol.
I would have nowhere to put such a thing and would never actually want it…
But it would be absolutely hilarious and I’d love it nonetheless. 😁
It’s one of those things that you hide away for most of the year, but every now and then, when your partner’s forgotten about it, you move it to the bathroom in the middle of the night 😁
Oh man. There definitely would be uses for such a replica. I just had a lot of fun generating stupid ai images of this scene:
Generate Jean-luc Picard in bed, wearing a robe that is open to reveal a hairy chest. He’s on his side, propping up his head with an arm. He has a pipe in mouth and is wagging his eyebrows, inviting you to join him.
An escape room with 8000 hamsters and ketamine. Now that’s a birthday
With my partner, we usually gift time/knowledge. As in, one person wants to buy something but doesn’t have the time/expertise to read up it and find the perfect thing. So the other hops in and does the research for them.
This valentine’s my partner helped me decide on a new gaming keyboard, while I got him a custom web domain and email setup.
So maybe if there’s a thing you’ve been meaning to research/buy, let your partner do it as a gift?
A pair of Calico Cut Pants
I don’t know what those are, but I did damage some pants recently which I was going to fix. But fixing things annoys the hell out of my spouse because I can usually endlessly keep things going on forever when… we could just go shopping… which would make them excited. I could use a couple t-shirts as well.
I hate shopping… and it drives me nuts that i would need to do it on my birthday… But my birthday is an opportunity to bring joy to my family. People love giving gifts!
I know this sounds all weird and backwards. I just don’t really want things, but there are things that I could use which seem mundane to me but can be fun for others to pick.
Thank you!
Still no idea what makes pants calico. Lol.
Oh u gotta watch more InThink You Should Leave.
Maybe have them donate to some charities of your choice.
Happy birthday!
Oh no no no. Lol. I think I’m all full up on Tim Robinson for a while. 🤣
Charity is a great idea, actually! Thank you.
And thanks for the birthday wishes. I didn’t think about the fact that this question actually revolves around my birthday actually happening. Was kind of hoping to just ignore that. I’m at the age where I’d like to just pretend this getting old thing isn’t truly happening. 🙃
For my birthday, I want immortality!
Maybe a really nice edition of a book you already love, from a luxury publisher like The Folio Society or Easton Press?
A cat.
Good god no. Half my family’s allergic. I’m just allergic to their nature. 🤣
In that case, a cure for allergies.
And a cat.
I’ll put it on my wish list. 🪄😺
Full disclosure, I peeked at your comment history.
How about those phone mounts and maybe a neat 2-in-1 tripod/monopod for your binoculars? Or a shoulder sling?
Otherwise, my go-to is an experience like others suggested. Escape room, paint nite, afternoon of pool/ bowling/ mini golf, Top Golf, cooking class, museum visit, comedy night, hockey game, roller skating, hiking, music bingo/pub trivia, or consider a hotel room nearby for the night with an indoor pool or my absolute favorite…a cabin weekend with a hot tub and a real wood-burning fireplace.
Damn it! I clearly want things! Why don’t I think to write these things down!?
You’re only slightly creepy for looking at my comment history, but also pretty dang smart for doing so.
It would take some research, but maybe they can help with that. I think that’s the frustrating part for them because they don’t know the first thing about these things, but hey… they are the ones who want to get me something. Haha.
Years ago, they bought me clamp on lenses for my phone, but it did not fit. I have a new phone now and I would love lens that I could mount to it. There’s a company that makes custom cases so they easily attach. I didn’t want to bother getting a new case, but my partner might want to do just that.
And if I don’t dig it, we can always return it and try again. Hopefully that wouldn’t be too offensive. I’ve done that in the past and never ended up buying a replacement item even though I promised I would. 😬
So yeah, an attachable lens or mount that would affix my phone to my binoculars when birding. And I think there are monopod stands, kind of like a tripod but only one leg, which can be used to keep things like binoculars stable. Maybe something like that if it isn’t too weird looking. Lol
Thank you, creepy internet sleuth! It’s so funny that I wrestle with what to think of when I know I’ve expressed interest in things. I don’t know why I couldn’t think of that on the spot. I very rarely actually get those things, but others might want to go that extra step and actually get them as a gift!
This can work!
Mines comin up as well… I always struggled to be in the “here and now” and been too busy for years and dropped most of my hobbies, found a very old camera that I bought in 2010-11 from the storage room… Its too big, started looking at what is currently available, found Ricoh griiix, saw some forums with the sensor results and pocketability; might get me back into photography, back into “here and now”… Take a look if you are into that… Just leaving this thought here…
It’s a great idea. I did nearly the same exact thing some years ago. It helped a lot. It grounded me. Rejuvenated me. I want to be there again. TMI: since then, life has blown up… more than once… and left me pretty mangled. Hobbies and those life giving things dissipated. Mental health declined again. I started drowning in work and survival. But slowly I’m getting into a better place. I miss those walks with camera in hand. Watching life unfold around me. Capturing creatures living life in all their funny ways. Yes, I quite liked that. And while it may not happen in time for my bday, that craving is there and that’s a good thing. I hope you’re able to spend more time in the here and now, with camera in hand. 💜
